Nearly half of U.S. citizens over the age of 85 are suffering from some kind of dementia and require care.Loving Someone Who Has Dementia is a new kind of caregiving book. It's not about the usual techniques, but about how to manage on-going stress and grief. The book is for caregivers, family members, friends, neighbors as well as educators and professionalsanyone touched by the epidemic of dementia. Dr. Boss helps caregivers find hope in "ambiguous loss"having a loved one both here and not here, physically present but psychologically absent.

Boss's book builds on research and clinical experience, yet the material is presented as a conversation. She shows you a way to embrace rather than resist the ambiguity in your relationship with someone who has dementia.

Pauline Boss, PhD, is emeritus professor at the University of Minnesota and was visiting professor at Harvard Medical School, 1995–1996, and Hunter School of Social Work, 2004–2005. She is best known for her groundbreaking research as the pioneer theorist and clinical practitioner of stress reduction for people whose loved ones are ambiguously lost.

Acknowledgments xiii

Introduction xv

1 The Ambiguous Loss of Dementia: How

Absence and Presence Coexist 1

2 The Complications of Both Loss

and Grief 21

3 Stress, Coping, and Resiliency 37

4 The Myth of Closure 55

5 The Psychological Family 71

6 Family Rituals, Celebrations, and

Gatherings 91

7 Seven Guidelines for the Journey 109

8 Delicious Ambiguity 137

9 The Good-Enough Relationship 155

Conclusion 167

A Note to Caregivers About Working

with Health Care Professionals 173

Resources 181

Notes 187

About the Author 215

Index 217