Like Edward Cullen in "Twilight", Nigel Mullet was transformed into a vampire when he was still a teenager, and will remain this age forever. Unfortunately, Nigel became a vampire at the awkward age of fifteen, and must spend eternity coping with acne, a breaking voice, and an ineptitude with girls . . . In this, his excruciatingly funny diary, Nigel chronicles his increasingly desperate attempts to be noticed by the love of his life, Chloe Sparrow, the constant mortification caused by his vampire parents (not to mention the worry that they might accidentally eat one of his friends), and the frustration one feels when you ve got the whole of boring eternity stretching out in front of you. . .