A master class in relationship repair and connection.

At its core, this book delivers an inconvenient truth. Our relationships have to be a daily practice if we want them to thrive. We should treat them like we treat anything that we want to succeed, by giving them time and attention. For far too long it has been assumed that we should innately understand how to love one another. Relationships have fallen into the category of things we should know how to do. But we are not born knowing how to make a relationship work, any more than we are born knowing how to file taxes or buy insurance, and there are no classes in high school or college that teach us how to do this.The Practice of Love is that class.

In his work, Lair Torrent, a licensed marriage and family therapist, brings together concepts and tools that can actually help couples heal for the long haul. Diving beneath the symptoms most therapies focus on, he helps couples develop a deeper understanding of the wounds that brought them together and how they show up in their relationships. The 5 Practices gives the reader an opportunity to weed out and take responsibility for limiting or negative habits while allowing them to learn and adopt new and healthier practices with their partner. These are not short-term solutions, but rather a path to profound healing, deeper connection, and stronger, happier relationships.

Lair Torrent, LMFT, is a clinically trained and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a mindfulness-based relationship therapist. Lair is a DailyOM Bestselling author and has been a contributing columnist at Inc.com; he writes, speaks publicly, holds workshops and seminars on relationships, mindfulness, as well as mindfulness and its effects on racism and children. Lair has published articles on his work and has been resourced and interviewed by such notable news outlets and publications as NPR,Rolling Stone, andThe New York Times for his expertise in working with those in struggling relationships. He lives in Charleston, SC.

List of Figures

Acknowledgements

Preface

Part 1, Guidepost 1: Mindfulness

Chapter 1: Guidepost1: What is Mindfulness?

Chapter 2: Why is Mindfulness so Important for Couples?

Chapter 3: How to Practice Mindfulness in your Relationship

Chapter 4: The Practice:

Part 2, Guidepost 2: The Parts of Us

Chapter 5: What are Our Parts?

Chapter 6: Why Are Our Parts so Important?

Chapter 7: How Our Parts Work

Chapter 8: Parts Exercises.

Part 3, Guidepost 3: The Narrative

Chapter 9: What is the Narrative?

Chapter 10: Why Our Narratives Are so Important

Chapter 11: How to Use the Narrative.

Chapter 12: The Practice

Part 4, Guidepost 4, Choosing.

Chapter 13, What is Choosing?

Chapter 14, Why Choosing is so Important to Connection.

Chapter 15, How to Choose

Chapter 16: The Practice. Choosing Exercises:

Part 5, Guidepost 5, Personal Responsibility

Chapter 17, What is Personal Responsibility

Chapter 18. Why Personal Responsibility is Integral to Relationships

Chapter 19. How to Take Personal Responsibility

Chapter 20. In Conclusion

Chapter 21. The Practice. Personal Responsibility Exercises

Bibliography

Notes

Index

About the Author